“It is was it is”…until it isn’t

Do you have a leadership pet peeve? Or something that makes you cringe nearly every time you hear it?

I do. It is the misuse and overuse of the phrase “it is what it is.”

Whenever I hear it, my reaction is typically one of the following:

a) my heart sinks

b) my eyes roll

c) inside I silently scream “Noooo!”

d) all of the above

This is not a new revelation or phenomenon. It’s been a struggle for me for twenty-five years. My aversion began when I had a boss who used this phrase over and over and over again - often on things she (and we) potentially could influence - but instead decided to settle for no action and acceptance.

This drove me absolutely crazy - you can ask my wife who patiently listened to my frequent “it is what it is” stories for months. My kids to this day still use “it is what it is” as a sarcastic punch line.

It drove me crazy because our organization was struggling, and we needed senior leadership to identify impactful issues and opportunities and take decisive action to turn things around.

It drove me crazy because this attitude totally reflects what a leader shouldn’t be. And that is my main point.

Initially I tried to be very gentle and polite and carefully express that I believed that some of the things she had written off as IIWII were in fact, addressable and changeable. This was wholly ineffective. And as time passed my filter faltered and I began to get more pointed and direct in offering my counter views.

Side note: You can fairly easily guess how this story ends - before I could make my next career move, I was “laid off” in the next round of downsizing.

Back to the big idea…I hope this post resonates with you because you see and agree that leaders should avoid “it is what it is” passivity on issues that can be influenced and changed.

Three Actions to Take:

(1) Assess yourself and/or those around you. Are you a leader that often plays the “is what it is” card? Or know a leader like this? If so, you've just identified a clear leadership growth opportunity.

(2) Take inventory. Are there any past or current opportunities that you’ve put in the unchangeable “is what it is” bucket that are opportunities for you to revisit and instead exert your influence and leadership?

(3) Develop an IIWII “warning system/trigger.” Automatically ask yourself when you hear or say this phrase - is it a legitimate “I can’t do anything about it” issue (such as the weather) versus “it may be a challenge, but I need to try to influence and drive it anyway…”

I welcome hearing about your experiences and perspectives…! Please share them below...